ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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