Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize