nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
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And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
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If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize