jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Someone signed my nipple.
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