it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize