im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
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Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
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