Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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