Me too!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
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It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
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You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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