i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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