Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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