lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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