Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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