So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize