HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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