i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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