The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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