Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize