So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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