So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize