no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
This girl is more easily done than said...
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
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Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
tell me about the fingering
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