i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize