WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
