She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize