Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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