he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
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I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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