I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize