Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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