Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wish i was in the wii world.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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