We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize