Just fell off a train. Bad.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
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I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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