he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize