I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
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I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
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Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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