I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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