whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize