All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize