I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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