He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
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I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
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When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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