Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize