It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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