i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize