Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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