Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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