I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Acid is not a monday night drug
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize