apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
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Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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