im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize