Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
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I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
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As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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