There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize