My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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