Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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