Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize