When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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